Sunday, February 27, 2011

Police Announce Mistaken Identity in Otter Slaying

Pacific Grove, CA

The Monterey County Sheriff's office has announced a new twist in the case of a body discovered near Lover's Point several weeks ago, which has been dubbed "The Christmas Corpse" in the popular press.  While preliminary forensics had suggested that the corpse was that of a murdered otter, definitive dental work analysis suggests that it actually belonged to a juvenile sea lion (Zalophus californianus).
"The state of the body when it was found was too ... ah, advanced to permit easy identification," said Monterey County Forensic Pathologist Milton Sweeney, "but after careful recontstruction we've established that the skull definitely belonged to Z. californianus."
The skull found at Lover's Point
This suggests new directions for the subsequent investigation.  According to criminologist Alton Bachnätter, PhD, of Stanford University, while otter murders are most commonly crimes of passion, the body of a sea lion implies organized crime:
"California sea lion males grow to 850 lbs and 2.4 meters long, while females are significantly smaller, at 220 lbs and 2 meters long. They have pointed muzzles, and are very involved in the drug and arms trades.  As its name suggests, the California sea lion is found mainly around the waters of California. However they can also be found from the Alaska Panhandle in the north to Mexico in the south, which puts them in an ideal position to move cocaine and marijuana northwards during their annual migration."
According to Dr. Bachnätter, the California sea lion only deals with large volumes of illegal drugs, rarely stooping to actual dealing.  The distribution of these substances on the streets is generally carried out by unemployed seals and, occasionally, otters with addiction problems. 

Sea otter skull
After selling the drugs during their northerly migration, the sea lions use the profit to buy contraband Russian small arms from colonies of Steller's sea lions, a closely related species.  Steller's sea lions smuggle the weapons from former Soviet republics through Siberia to their breeding grounds in the Aleutian archipelago, which are so remote and hostile as to be basically beyond the law.

Asked how these forensic revelations would change his investigation, Sheriff Scott Miller said that the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been contacted, and that field agents have already arrived in Monterey County to assist local law enforcement in the investigation.  
"We thought it was prudent to invole the feds early," said Miller, "we do a good job with local issues here in Monterey County, but we're not equipped to handle the kind of violence people have seen associated with these animals in places like Tijuana."
Computer modeling techniques have allowed police to generate an image of what they believe the murdered sea-lion looked like in life.  The Monterey County Sheriff's Office asks anyone who thinks they may have seen the animal to come forward as soon as possible.
Computer simulation based on the skull of the murdered sea lion of how it may have looked in life.